Adjusting to Married Life

I was brutally reminded that my husband and I will celebrate six months of marriage (again...) on July 25. (We have six months to create our wedding album and we have yet to do it!) It's incredible how time flies. He's actually been back from Korea for six months too.

What makes this six month anniversary different than the last is that we actually spent it together. The year he was in Korea didn't even feel like we were married. It just said it on paper. It seemed more like our engagement because we spent the majority of the year preparing ourselves for life together.

What was going to happen with me? What was going to happen with him? What would that mean for both of us? Also, how would we adjust to being together?

I knew we had love on our side -- and no matter what kind of challenge came our way, we would get through it together. The biggest adjustment has really been getting used to sharing things with a man. Honestly, I'm surprised how smoothly my transition to married life has been. Things are great -- and we're really embracing our live here in Northern Virginia.

I really like spending my evenings with my husband around our home, exploring our duty station and just everything else about life now. Weirdness just bothers me. For example, he leaves dirty dishes in the sink. And that's just a silly quirk! I'm the crazy one that washing things as I'm done using it. All the little nuances will eventually equalize and I'm sure we'll get used to it too. I'm just mostly shocked at how quickly things have been going!

In sad news, my husband will be leaving for a two-month TDY soon. And I'm also working on preparing myself for that as well. It's like as soon as you get a good groove...bam, the military comes down on you. Oh well, it will force me to think about (only) myself again -- and it will be a good thing.

I have some trips scheduled to my old stomping grounds in NYC to visit with friends in August and September. I miss them so much, so I'm looking at our separation positively. Also, I plan to see my husband when he graduates his class in Arizona at the end of September -- another opportunity to see Sierra Vista!

An Important Tip from My Parents

I was very excited to learn that the parenting advice I shared with Military Spouse Magazine's Janine Boldrin made it in the February issue!

It's not a secret that I truly admire my parent's relationship. How could you not be impressed after 31 years of marriage? Even with all the ups and downs, my parents have given me a great example of a successful marriage. Now that I'm married - and ironically enough, married to a military member - my parents also became the quintessential example of a successful military marriage for me. They did start their marriage while my dad was in the Air Force.

After learning of our inclusion in the magazine, I immediately started searching Fort Belvoir for print issues! I actually subscribe to Military Spouse Magazine, but because of the move, I never got the issue! Anyway, I was able to find the magazine at the commissary! It's good to know that they stock issues....

I grabbed a couple issues - that way I can send my parents a copy and keep one for myself. My parents were ecstatic to see themselves in the issue!

How many spouses out there were brats too? :)

Drum Roll Please...

By this weekend, I'll officially be a Virginia resident. More importantly, my husband will be back from his yearlong Korea tour. It's FINALLY here.

I can't help but feel bittersweet. I'm leaving NYC the place that really shaped me into who I am today. I've met some incredible lifelong friends and experienced a lot of new things here. I'm sad to be leaving my home for the last ten years, but I'm excited to begin a new chapter in my life.

When I think about where my husband got assigned, I consider myself lucky (although, I was secretly hoping that we would have been placed somewhere in Texas...) because Fort Belvoir is really not that far from NYC. If I have an itch for NYC, it won't be hard to visit. My friends would also have a reason to travel down to the DC-area.

My career is also being completely rerouted - not in a bad way. I'm going to be transitioning out of working in an office/firm environment to a home office. Because of the military lifestyle, I've set my focus to work freelance and/or remotely. The beauty of my career, it really be done anywhere. I love PR and I plan to continue developing my work skills - where ever the military takes me. Plus, I do have some awesome writing gigs that I truly enjoy (as well as this blog!).

Here I go folks! I'm going to embark on my first PCS journey soon!

Happy Anniversary!

A year ago today, I married the man of my dreams.

We quickly put together a courthouse ceremony just weeks before he had to leave for Korea. Although, it all came so fast and at the time, wished we had a "real" wedding (i.e. my dad walking me down the aisle, all my friends and family witnessing, etc.), but when he said that he'll still give me the wedding of my dreams when he gets back, I was ok with everything. :)

I realized now that we'll have TWO anniversaries :)

Before I left work Friday, I got a surprise delivery of flowers from my husband. Happy 1st anniversary to my sweet man!

Eleven Months in the Making

December 22, 2012

In a month from now, I'll be getting ready to go to the airport to pick up my husband. I can't believe it.

So far, I've arranged for our apartment to be ready for our arrival. The rental truck is reserved. All we need to do is just show up and get our keys. After that, we'll be set to move in!

Wedding stuff is coming together too! Just two weeks after my husband gets back, we'll be flying to Texas to celebrate our marriage. I'm ecstatic!

When I started my journey as a military spouse just one year ago, I wished I could just fast forward to this moment. Last December at this time, I was getting ready for our civil ceremony and mentally preparing for a yearlong tour away from the man I love. It was a very difficult reality to overcome.

Well, here I am now. I'd be lying to say that we never argued or I never cried. We fought plenty. I cried plenty. I can't tell you how many times I've almost reached my breaking point.

All of it was worth it though - and I wouldn't have it any other way (call me crazy?). We've learned so much about each other during the year we've been apart. Things that wouldn't have surfaced otherwise. It's made us stronger as a couple and ready to take on the countless other challenges in our marriage.

My parents told me that their first year of marriage was the most difficult for them because of the drastic  change and it was a big adjustment. They've never lived with each other and they were also living in an environment that was both foreign to them (Japan). I think my husband and I will endure that at Fort Belvoir. We both never lived with each other and all at once, we are both going to a place that is foreign to us. I'm hoping what we learned during this tour about each other can help with all our challenges that we're going to face. We're going to have to get used to each other again too.

Love gets you through the difficulties and that was the biggest thing I've learned from my parents. Understanding and trust helps too! I'm more excited than anything else about being able to start a new journey with my husband. There is no doubt that I've picked a better life partner.

I'm hoping the next month goes smoothly because not only am I excited, I'm also anxious! :)

Promotion Time! & Boys Behind the Blog

It was just made official that my husband will be promoted to Staff Sergeant on December 1st! I'm so happy for him and proud of all his hard work in Korea! As of December 1st, I'll have seen him wear three different ranks. It's crazy to think because it feels like just yesterday I met my adorable Specialist. Awe!

I'm a couple days behind in linking up with "The Boys Behind the Blog," but I figured, better late than never! Below are my husband's answers to this month's questions!

1. Who is your favorite band/musician?
I like lots of bands, but Disturbed has the most songs per album that I like.

2. What was your first CD/tape?
The Marshall Mather LP

3. Who was your first concert?
Virtuoso and R.A. The Rugged Man, live at the middle east club in Boston
*Ok, I have no idea what that means. I asked him and apparently they are rappers?

4. What is your favorite Thanksgiving food?
Turkey with gravy
*He can't be any more predictable!

5. Finish this sentence: I am thankful for...
Everything, especially coming home soon.
*I'm thankful for the end of my husband's yearlong tour!

FREE Gowns for Military Brides

The Brides Across America program is very near and dear to me because I'm a BAA bride!

Last Veterans Day, I went to Pennsylvania with my band of bridesmaids (only two couldn't make it!) to a free bridal gown event. It was such a whirlwind experience, but so humbling that bridal salons nationwide participated to support military brides. (I've shared about my experiences before in a past blog post here.)  As y'all know, my husband and I had a civil ceremony last December and scheduled a formal ceremony for when he returns this coming January!

During my visit last year, I found my dream wedding dress. It was a surreal moment and so exciting! Thanks to the program, I was able to take home a designer dress home with me for FREE!

I wanted to share with you this language that I pulled from their website's "About Us" page:

"Military Brides don't always get their dream wedding. Some brides have to give up their wedding due to their fiancées getting deployed quickly. In other cases, brides have a civil ceremony and then await years for their fiancée to return home to finally have their wedding day. Heidi wants to make a difference by giving those in need the and help those troops that are fighting for our country get the wedding they deserve. Brides Across America efforts is part of the Oprah Winfrey's Angel Network and support Patriot Rovers organization."

Doesn't it sound familiar!? You can even still receive a dress if you and your spouse plan on renewing vows, etc. even after a wedding. They are all for making your "bridal" dreams come true.

I cannot tell you how excited I am to FINALLY wear my dress this January and show it off to my husband. And, to continue to share my story on how one organization truly made a different in my life!

If you know somebody that is planning a wedding or someone that intends to renew vows with their spouse or if it's even yourself looking for a dress!!, check out the site for participating locations!

Just for fun, here is the newspaper article I was quoted in last year: http://www.phillyburbs.com/news/local/courier_times_news/military-brides-get-free-gowns/article_f406fd45-ad8c-5f80-882d-f147c169b0f3.html

Is it Friday?!

Phew! This week was exhausting! I don't think there is enough time in a day to tell you about all the madness that has been going on at the office this week. When it rains, it pours! Nothing bad, just lots to do in the next few months and we have around eight clients, so I've been really putting my prioritizing and time management skills to good use. Not only have I been busy at my job, I've been making personal strides too!

I booked my Christmas flight home! I'm pretty excited and bummed at the same time because this will be the first Christmas apart from my husband since we've been together. I just keep telling myself, once Christmas rolls around, it will only be weeks till we see each other again! So, YAY!

With that said, I've also booked my husband and my flight to Texas from D.C. (for our church ceremony)! Now that we know where we're PCSing to, I can start planning around that. Also, after a lot (and I mean a lot) of discussion, my husband and I decided to take a legit honeymoon right after the wedding. It almost seemed like a disservice to both of us NOT to take some time on a beach somewhere before he starts a new job and we start living our new life at Fort Belvoir. We've been doing a good job saving up and we've both been working hard in this year apart - we deserve it!

The last time I was at a beach!

So, we've booked our honeymoon cruise (yes, you heard me right, another cruise!), this time leaving from Puerto Rico! I have so much to be excited about and so little time to do it! I'm just thrilled that I'm able to share all the craziness in my life too! Thanks for listening everyone! :)

My Special Force: The warrior who taught me he meaning of life and love

When I was initially approached with the opportunity to review My Special Force by Heather Means, I was hesitant. To be honest, I didn't want to deal with the harsh reality of a soldier's death, let along your own husband. I've actually been avoiding anything that has to deal with the death of a military loved one.

Although my husband isn't deployed to an area of current combat, I can't help but worry. The odds of him getting hurt aren't high, but the fact I haven't seen him in a long while still puts me on edge. I can admit to you that I'm a baby sometimes.

What really resonated with me is that Heather's husband wasn't injured or attacked by insurgents and suffered from a battle wound, he was affected by something unrelated and something you can't really plan on dealing with as a military spouse.

As I read about Heather's determination and resilience despite all the difficult challenges, I had to read on. I felt like it was important for me, especially, as a new military spouse to understand. At the beginning, their relationship mirrored countless other military relationships, including my own. My husband and I spent a majority of our courtship traveling visiting each other and keeping in touch with phone calls etc. I was inspired by their love and devotion to each other through their written words. I enjoyed reading the dialogue between Heather and her husband, Ryan with the letters that were shared in the book. It gave me the opportunity to take a sneak peek at their relationship.

When Ryan began to struggle with his illness, my reading slowed down a bit. I can't even describe how I felt getting through the pages, but I really commend Heather for her spirit and strength. Ryan was also amazing because he remained a devoted and loving husband, while battling through a grueling disease.

This book definitely shows the power of love and the importance of remembering the legacy of a loved one. Not only will Ryan's family have something to read that carries his story, but countless other families will have the opportunity to learn from him too.

Here is Heather's book on Amazon.com.

Just Because Flowers

It's really been a whirlwind week for me. A week ago today, my husband's mom had a heart attack. A flood of emotions immediately came to me when I listened to the message from my husband's sister. I was shocked at first and then worried. I wanted to just rush over to Boston to help and I wished my husband wasn't in Korea so he could come with me.

I can't ever begin to explain how I felt. Now, flash forward a week, his mom is recovering and needs to go in for another surgery.

What worried me at the beginning is what would happen if something worse happened. My husband is all the way on the other side of the world. We talked about what we would do and how to go about it. If any tragedy happens in your family, you should know to contact the Red Cross. Luckily for us, we didn't have to go that far, but I didn't know what to do before this happened.

I wanted to go to Boston to visit, but that didn't end up happening. With everything going on, it was too much.

Outside of the family emergency, my husband and I have been really anxious lately. We're reaching our breaking point on every side and just cannot wait for the tour to end. Sometimes, I can't help but get frustrated by the distance and the amount of time we've spend apart. So far, in the last 280 days, I've only spent 10 of them with him. By the time the year is out, we would have spent 355 days apart. I definitely understand that lots others have endured longer tours and deployments, but a year is a REALLY long time and I'm just SO ready for it to be over.

Today, my husband surprised me. I was sent a dozen roses just because. In my opinion, he sent them because of everything going on, but I'll still give him credit for being a great husband!

Sliver lining: we are at the homestretch!

Our dining room table.

Virginia is for Lovers?

It's been a crazy week. I went to the Poconos area this past weekend to visit an old friend for Oktoberfest (which I'm excited to share with you soon!).  Something else takes precedent right now, I HAVE to share with you that my husband now knows where he's going after Korea.

I realize that everything isn't certain until we are actually there, but it's really looking like we're going to Fort Belvoir, Virginia.

My husband's assignment manager reached out to him with the station and said that orders will be made soon. Shortly following that, he got an email saying that he has been placed on assignment to Fort Belvoir. Now, we're just waiting for the hard copy orders.

I'm freakin' over here. We have less than four months till he gets back and it's pretty wacky that we already know where we're headed. It seems to be the case in Korea because his buddy that flew over there with him at the same time also got his notification. He's going to Fort Carson, Colorado.

In the coming weeks, I'm sure I'll have plenty more to say about our upcoming move. Right now, I'm going to let my mind race!

Before all the madness, I planned to link-up with the "Boys Behind the Blog!" I asked my husband five questions and shared his answers below. You'll learn that my husband is a man of few words...haha.

Video chattin' with the man

1. If you were an animal, what animal would you be?
Koala according to my wife
*Let me preface, I identify my husband to a koala because he clings to my like a koala to a branch. His hugs are so tight!

2. What is your favorite meal?
Steak and mashed potatoes 

3. Do you use any forms of Social Media? What is your favorite?
I'm on Facebook,  but just to keep up with old Army friends

4. Beer, wine, liquor, other, or none of the above?
I like all kinds of beer, Jack Daniels is my favorite whiskey. Soju isn't bad either.

5. Complete the sentence: "Never have I ever..."
Been to Canada

I'm back, but a little down in the count

I said "goodbye for now" to my soldier a couple days ago.  We had an amazing time together during his leave and I think seeing him off this time around was harder than at the beginning of his tour.

My guess is because I actually know how it feels to go through six months without seeing each other - and it was one of the biggest challenges I've ever had to encounter.  So, I was one of those hysterical crying wives in the airport (although, I wasn't really loud...just tears spewing down my face).  I tried SO hard to NOT cry...oh well.

I do have good news though!!  We are officially half way over.  I have to maintain the positive vibes to get through the next six months - and we'll finally have a home together!

I've stepped away from blogging the last couple of weeks to fully dedicate my time with my husband - and since he's been gone, I've just been a lazy bum.  Hopefully, I'll be back to my upbeat and bubbly self asap!  I do have lots to be excited about, my dad is flying to New York next month, wedding planning is in full swing and summer is really here!!

Needless to say, I miss the soldier...so much.  How long was the longest you've gone without seeing your man/woman?

The husband and I walking in my neighborhood park!

The view from the park.

The pictures are stolen from my Instagram page.  If you don't follow me already, you should!  I love sharing and exploring other pictures from friends! Here is my handle: @lilraerae06

Why I'll be MIA for a bit...

...because the soldier is BACK!!

Last Thursday night, I picked him up from the airport and yesterday we went to a Yankee game Now, for the next week I'll be busy on vacation!  Catch y'all on the flip side!!

Here's a little hump day love for my husband!

I know my husband reads my blog, so this is for him....  :-)

I'm thinking about you always - even from a distance - and I know things will get better!  On a positive note, we're a quarter of the way into this tour and I'm totally on it with our vacation!!  It WILL happen! 

....

On my commutes in the morning, I listen to Pandora a lot.  I first heard this song from Miss Alicia Keys a couple days ago.  It's actually a perfect song that explains how I feel.  Thank you Miss Keys for always expressing emotions so well!

Guess what makes me happy...

...seeing my husband even when he's in the field.

Lately, I've been thinking about how spouses dealt before the Internet age, especially during my mom's time as a military spouse.  My husband is doing a tour in Korea right now, and my dad did a tour in Korea as well (1986-1987).  The biggest difference between what I am experiencing from my mom is that I get to see my husband's face when I talk to him.

When my dad left for Korea, I was a 4 month-old infant.  The way my parents communicated was snail mail and phone calls from the USO.  My dad was only able to see pictures of me through mailed Polaroid pictures.  I can't imagine waiting weeks to receive a letter to see your loved one.  Back then, all tours to Korea were unaccompanied too.  Families were not allowed to live in Korea on the military's expense.

Anyway, I feel so thankful that I'm able to see my soldier's smile in real time.  We truly live in an amazing world!